Sunday, November 8, 2009
caulk the wagon, and float it
id love to get my hands on an old mac computer with oregon trail and transilvania, and cross country canada. id set it up in the corner with my stacks of cassette tapes and elementary school speech certificates. and always wear baggy jeans and dickies branders shirts from trick.
i caulked the wagon and floated,
with a patch on my eye, and a gut that is bloated,
i like my gold caramel coated,
and when my cannon fires, your boat gets exploded.
imagine if liquor was considered a form of currency.
accepted at meat shops and gas companys.
people would start brewing up their own money.
society would become saturated in liquid-love and there'd be longer lines at megabite, late at night.
and, as with real money, the conservatives will thrive.
with huge bunkers full of millions of gallons of good times.
they'll control the government, and create false idols for the idiots to worship.
the rest of us will be stuck saying things like: "shit man, i spent all my gas money getting gassed."
meet the drunk petting zoo.
a quality, new-age business that only accepts liquor as currency.
pet the animals: 1 shot.
ride the animals: 3 shots.
at some point later that evening we became the heavy petting zoo, and sang lots of NOFX songs.
i woke up on martys couch, still wearing the ears, and a shirt that said "i love denim."
another halloween victory.
colin 1 - drunk tank 0.
my 6 year winning streak continues.
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