Wednesday, April 29, 2009
coaster
i love new nofx albums.
more than cold drinks mixed in blenders.
and red-heads in suspenders.
one day ill write an awesome song about fat mike.
called "big fat famous guy"
then one day he'll hear it, side stage, at the commodore.
its not pathetic to head-bang at your computer by yourself.
no one can see you anyway.
no one can see ME anyway.
ahh geeze.
i got all worked up, didnt i?
i meant to tell the rotten banana story, but the punk music got me all excited.
guess that story will have to wait til later.
goodnight, goodbye, and thanks for having me.
bbq's rule, especially with hot tubs.
Friday, April 24, 2009
nick faldo
tomorrow comes way too soon.
my alarm is set for 6:30am.
the price i pay, to play 2 rounds of golf in 1 day.
we're going to quesnel, thus the early rise.
oh well, im not driving, and i love golf more than panago.
an army of us are playing again at pine valley on sunday.
i hit the driving range at aberdeen yesterday, and my friend aberd-ian-the-golf-pro came out and chilled while i whacked balls all over the place, and he made about 7 changes to my swing, so tomorrow is going to be either awesome, or an atrocity, but scores dont matter as long as we are golfing, instead of scraping dumbass ice off our cars every morning for 6 months straight.
i wrote punk songs today and now im going to bed.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
cause everything else was already said
uh oh, im running low on celebration solution.
somebody cue the inspector gadget theme.
nobody 'cues' anything anymore, they just double-click.
yet another casualty of the broadcast evolution disease.
flashy flashy, come on flashy.
i hate many, many things.
i am one of the things that i hate. -td
clear it.
sweep it up.
finish it.
flash me.
make those eyes dance.
everyone is waiting.
what good is an autograph anymore?
nobody flashes autographs, we all got camera phones and shit.
life without mystery is so much better.
where are all the escape routes?
and how much liquor can i get for all this money? -sd
dont ask me about space.
or ill start pacing this place til im red in the face.
your luggage comes no sooner this way.
the sheriff told me to leave town.
said i was sayin weird shit.
had a mustache better than mine.
so i pulled out my 9-iron.
and threw it at him as hard as i could.
cops love golf.
so, im still right here, but where am i going?
rowing the wrong way up the river,
without ever knowing.
do you have a girlfriend? -beautiful girl
nope, do you have a job? -cwp
gloria
sometimes, life is like the tube ride at cultus lake waterslides.
first, you have to drive all the way out there.
then, park across from a mini golf course next to a go-cart track.
but, mom didnt drive you all the way out there for that.
so, you hit the concrete room, and strip down.
sweet, you get to leave your shit in a cubby hole.
now, lets hit up that tube ride.
ive always hated waiting at the edge of water.
at the end of the slide, everyone is supposed to pass on their tube to the next person in line, but some dicks just hop out and run up the stairs with their tubes in hand, and guys like me just look away and wait for a girl or a grandpa.
when a tube is finally attained, its about 500 stairs before we set sail on our awesome adventure. and then we're off! this is fun! wait, we've hit rapids, for some reason. okay, lets stand up, walk with our tube to the next down-slope, and ride down. sweet! oh, more rapids, awesome, i hope there's even more rapids later! yes?, more?, sweet!, oh no!...here comes the end of the ride...(whoooooosh)
hmm, i swallowed water.
chlorinated water.
dirty stinkin ass cultas lake waterslides water.
im gonna go again, and skip the line.
Monday, April 13, 2009
food for friendship
the new hip album is really good.
calmer than world container, but inspires the same dance moves.
gord is a poet, who are you?
goofus sued walt disney for slander.
gallant fights a lot, cause his name is gallant.
back in the day, i knew a kid named gayland.
im pretty sure he fought a lot too.
parents can be so cruel.
naming a baby must be a difficult job.
i only name cats.
good cat names:
ryan
sarah
gary
ian
morris
theo
real good, right now.
snow buries the spirit of this town.
so when it melts, the happy-gas gets released.
and everyone smiles, and goes for walks, and holds doors open for people.
the flowers are already poking up in my front garden.
i went out there today, and found a full can of budweiser resting among the sprouting plants. of course i assumed it was an empty, or maybe full of water, but no, it was safe, intact, un-exploded, and seemed very happy to be saved. that little can survived unbearable cold, total isolation, and the taunting rants of bustling carney street traffic.
gonna break my heart when i get thirsty.
Friday, April 10, 2009
runner, runner
i havent seen james in a long time.
the last time we talked, he told me lily was really upset, and he didnt know why.
i hope they worked it out.
it felt like sunday, so i spent most of the day in bed.
with flashes of golf and the starwars marathon on space tv.
then i had chicken stirfry for breakfast at 5:30pm.
more concert chaos last night.
they took down our posters because the owners thought they inspired violence.
made me feel really good, so i snuck a few back in and signed them for fans.
some chick started throwing limes at steve.
so the show ended half a song early.
i dont think anyone cared.
he dropped his bass and marched right up to her.
reminded me of toby keith on youtube.
i guess she had her reasons, no boyfriend etc.
naomi showed up half way through the set, with her cello.
and if you were there, you saw it.
its a memory the government will never get to steal from me.
playing at sports bars is way better when the canucks win.
if they loose, its good that our music usually pushes an anti-depressant.
my playoff mustache will make my mom sad, but proud.
tomorrow is movie day, a terpsma invention.
im excited to wear my stolen miller high life pants all day.
er'body brings a movie, we order chinese, and spend the day unlike slaves.
long weekends rule.
like old bright eyes albums.
calm and quiet and clever.
in other news, the harlem globetrotters are coming back to PG for the 37th time.
i hid my ticket in the freezer.
so if this place burns down i can still go.getting up at 5:30pm is way less depressing when its still sunny at 7pm.
this town has 2 seasons: winter and summer.
winter is sad, so we drink, summer is happy, so we barbecue.
unfortunately: "i have the body of a lifestyle" is no longer an acceptable excuse.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
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